At work today, I watched an archived training on enhancing family-professional partnerships in maternal and child health programs. The presenter was discussing how parents and families of children with special health care needs should be engaged in health care decisions, as well as advocacy and participation with medical and community providers. In this context, she advised asking, "WHO WERE YOU THE DAY BEFORE THE DIAGNOSIS?" She was asking viewers to see those parents as people with skills (beside parents of sick children) that could be used in partnership building. I took the question to heart in a different way. Who was I before Morgan died?
I was a student, wife, sister, daughter, sewer, crafter, baker, cook. I was happy, optimistic, looking forward to being a mommy, pinning baby projects on Pinterest. I could look at other pictures of other people's babies and kids and smile. I went to school, grocery shopping, and Target.
Today, I am an epidemiologist, wife, sister, daughter, sewer, crafter, baker, cook. I am not happy, but trying very hard to be optimistic, and looking forward to one day being a mommy to a live baby, and occasionally I do pin baby projects on Pinterest. I look at other pictures of other people's babies and kids and am numb. I go to work, grocery shopping, and Target.
The two paragraphs probably aren't all that different. Daily life, what's visible to others, is essentially the same. The inside is what's broken and crafted back together.