Monday, September 29, 2014


Little Miss Avery Makena!  We are beyond excited, grateful, and relieved that our little girl is here safe and sound. Avery certainly has her own personality, and decided to schedule her own C-section. She was born at 10:59am on September 23, three days ahead of the plan.  6pounds, 11 ounces of sweetness.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Catching up

Things have been pretty quiet here on the old blog.  There hasn't been too much to say.

HOWEVER, Friday was a red ribbon kind of day.  Why? I officially made 34 weeks pregnant! In just under three weeks, we WILL have our healthy little girl in our arms.  Last week, my doctor said Friday would be the "point of no return."  If I happen to go into labor between now and C-section day, they won't stop it.  Straight to the OR I'll go.

Why did we keep it a secret for so long?
We felt that social support after losing Morgan was pretty limited, and thought it would be easier to endure an unannounced loss than another announced loss where it seemed as if no one cared.

Long before I conceived, we were pretty sure that knowledge of this pregnancy would be on a need-to-know basis.  It's certainly been a weird place to be: growing more and more excited as each week passes uneventfully, but afraid that the moment anything was said out loud, that everything would fall apart.  We didn't even tell our parents until the very end of  the second trimester.  That wasn't too hard, considering we don't live anywhere near family.  I've started, several times, to reveal here, but chickened out. Again, it seemed like speaking of the pregnancy would be the moment it fell apart. No one else knows and will not know until she's here safe and sound.  I'm sure there will be some hurt feelings, but tough turkey.

How are things going?
Aside from what seems like a billion doctor's appointments, it's been a pretty uneventful pregnancy.  The TAC is doing it's job, and my cervix hasn't budged.  I only saw the high risk doctor once, when we developed a care plan. My OB has stuck to the plan, and we haven't had any issues.  But boring does not mean stress free! The physical demands have been few, but the emotional demands of a rainbow pregnancy have made up for that, and even made the physical discomforts worse. When you know too much, it's easy for your mind to run wild.

What was the care plan?
Because there's not a whole lot they could do for my incompetent cervix above and beyond the TAC, it's been mostly a lot of monitoring.  I have had several ultrasounds to check cervical length in the second trimester.  Because I tested low for a protein (pregnancy associated plasma protein A aka Papp-A) associated with placenta dysfunction, I was placed on a regimen of baby aspirin to prevent pre-eclampsia.  I also got another series of ultrasounds to monitor Baby's growth.  Aside from being anterior (on the front side), the placenta is fine.  Little miss missy has stayed around the 75th percentile!  I also have been getting weekly Makena (17OHP progesterone) injections to prevent preterm labor since week 16.  Only 2 more to go!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Have you ever forgotten your own birthday?  Have you ever wanted to?

Last week, a coworker suggested we have lunch sometime this week.  She suggested Thursday. We have a standing conference call every Thursday morning that lasts about two hours, and it drives her crazy.  So, I, not really thinking it through, asked if she was expecting this week's call to be especially horrendous. "No, you know,'s July 24...."

Oh. Yeah.  It is my birthday, isn't it?  Two years ago, I would have spent the entire month leading up to my birthday planning out some new cake flavor combo or recipe, complete with piped frosting or even fondant.  This year, I picked up a cake mix that I may or may not make.

These days, I only think of my birthday in an abstract way.  It's another day, but more than anything, it ushers in the week leading up to Morgan's day on July 28.  Rather than think of my own cake, I wonder what kind of cake she'd like.  Would a two year old really have any kind of preference? Chocolate only, like her Daddy? Would she be able to pick her own party theme? I'll never, ever know.

What I do know is that I miss my little birthday girl terribly.  The day to day is OK, but times like this are the worst.