It's been nearly 3 and a half months, now, and I feel like I've turned a corner. The grief is not so ever present, and many days feel like "ordinary" days. Of course, there are still the not so great days, and her due date STILL has not come. I'm sure that day will be like losing Morgan all over again. Yet days like today, which could have been a humdinger, aren't quite so bad.
For example, a package from Gerber came in the mail today. I don't remember requesting anything, but it sure took them long enough to send these two giant cans of formula (which I'll donate to a charity or something)! Then, a few hours later, an email that JCPenney is giving away free family portraits in November arrived. Of course, Morgan wasn't supposed to be here yet to take pictures, but I'd already imagined how cute she'd be in pictures wearing the Christmas onesie I bought just a few weeks after finding out I was pregnant. (Yes, I bought a Christmas onesie in May. It was on clearance, super cute, and perfect for her due date. LOL.) But see, I can LOL now. A few weeks ago, either of these things happening would have ruined the rest of my day. Both in one day? That would have been a wrap. Today, I took a moment, gathered myself, and kept going.
I'll probably regret this post tomorrow, when something craptastic happens. But for now, I believe things are getting better. Things are going well school wise, and it has me thinking that it's time to start job hunting! The sooner that happens, the sooner a rainbow may appear in the sky!