Monday, July 22, 2013

365 days of Unhappy

Today, July 22, marks the one year anniversary of the last day I was happy.  On this day last year, I was completely and deliriously happy; so blind and oblivious to my body's betrayal.  On this day last year, I was looking forward to our 20 week ultrasound the next day. Finding out our baby's gender was to be the best birthday and Christmas present ever, all rolled into one.  I got my gift (It's a girl!) and had it snatched away less than five minutes later (...but she's going to die).

If you asked most people when was the last time they were happy, they would probably tell you some story about how happy they were when the good barista was on duty at the coffee shop. And they'd probably have some little thing that made them happy each and every day.  This past year, I've thrived on "the little things."  If I hadn't been finding joy where or when I could, I'd be beyond certifiably crazy right now.

Perspective is a beast.  This new perspective makes you appreciate those little things so much more, even while realizing they are so absolutely unimportant.  This weekend I went fabric shopping for the first time since March or April, and had a good time chatting with the ladies at the quilt shop and buying fabric.  I bought some fabric for a "birthday" quilt for Morgan, and for work clothes for me.  Most would find fabric shopping lame, but I survived the fall months by sewing.  Today, I was laying out some fabric and realized I got more than I needed, and it was enough for the pants I intended plus a bonus skirt.  A little perk!  An extra bonus that the pants and skirt will total $15!  Those are the little things that make me happy these days.

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