Random

No theme, just random grief related thoughts...

A (hair) blogger that I follow shared that she had just had a miscarriage.  I'm sorry that she had to experience that, but I'm glad she chose to share with her mainstream audience.  I was especially glad when she wrapped up her post with "I entirely understand how statistically common it all is. But that doesn't make me feel any better.  Not right now."  I was especially glad because she's a licensed therapist.  It seems everyone's telling you to go to a therapist so you can get over it.  HAving a therapist validate  the pain is interesting.

I was driving to work today, and got stopped at a light behind a mini van.  As usual, per mini van law, they had those stick figure family decals.  They had two baby/child angel decals.  Since I was headed into the downtown government area, I kind of hoped they were going to the same parking lot as me so I could ask where they got them.  Stalkerish, I know.  I usually think these are cheesy! This wasn't it, but something similar.

Image from stickfamilyfiguresdecals.com

Yesterday was my birthday.  Yet another day I'd been dreading because it's just 4 days before Morgan's day.  It seems my own mother "forgot" why I wouldn't be looking forward to it.  Last week she asked if I was excited or looking forward to my birthday.  When I said, "Not really, it's just another marker of non-happy things," all she could say was "Oh, I guess it is."  The icing on the cake was when I got home from work yesterday, there was an envelope from the hospital where Morgan was delivered.  It was a sympathy card inviting us to a memorial service.  The rational me would say, "That's nice of them."  The angry me who got no kind of sympathy from them at all when Morgan died says it's too little, too late.  And isn't it just great that it arrives on my birthday, in time for Morgan's day.  Don't they have good timing.  (The day wasn't a total wash.  We went out for a nice dinner.)