Day 4

July 27, 2012: 20 weeks + 4 days


Last night was a rough one, physically. Back ache and some cramping.


This morning, I felt better.  I thought that I'd listen to the lullaby station on Pandora and have some quality time with the baby.  The second song to play was "You Are My Sunshine".  I call my husband Sunshine, and smiled when it came  on, but the second verse (below) had me in tears.  This verse pretty much sums up my days right now.  I'm trying so hard to be strong and optimistic.  But whenever I try to picture the future with my little girl - baking cookies, tea parties, etc., I can't help but think we may never get the chance to experience those things.


You are my sunshine 
My only sunshine 
You make me happy 
When the skies are grey 
You'll never know dear 
How much I love you 
So please don't take 
My sunshine 
Away 

The other night dear 
As I lay sleeping 
I dreamed I held you in my arms 
When I awoke dear 
I was mistaken 
And I held 
My head 
And cried 




I've shed so many tears this week, I could fill a swimming pool.