Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The End

Bed rest is over.  Because my pregnancy is over.  At 2:25am, on Saturday, July 28, 2012, our little girl was born with her angel wings.

The cramping that I'd had off and on all week intensified on Friday with a nasty discharge.  I had chorioamnionitis, an infection in the space between the two membranes composing the amniotic sac.  We went to the hospital, really expecting to be sent home again.  Stupid me thought I was just having cramps.  They were actually contractions, and I was in labor.

At this point, the cerclage stitches needed to come out, or my cervix would rupture.  Removal of the stitches was supposed to be an easy, quick procedure, not requiring any anesthesia...just a speculum and a snip of the stitches.  But, this caused me so much pain.  The doctor couldn't get the stitches out.  The surgeon performing the initial cerclage put in more than one stitch, and must have tied them really, really well.  All together, I believe there were three stitches, and the third, partially removed stitch was only found after delivery.

The physical pain was excruciating.  They told me the pain was amplified because of the infection.  I had a fever over 101, but didn't feel it.  All I felt was the frequent cramping just below my belly button.  Even when I found myself timing the frequency and duration of the cramps (every 5-10 minutes, for 15-20 seconds) to help me get through them, I still thought they were cramps, not contractions.  No medication could ease the pain.  They started me on one drug that I don't remember the name of.  I then got 2 doses of morphine, and it didn't even take the edge off.  I wasn't allowed an epidural because of the infection. I finally got a pudendal block and a pain pump clicker, but by then, it was too late.

Immediately after the stitches were removed, I dilated to 4cm.  After two hours, I had not progressed at all, so was given a drug to induce labor.  Now that was the drug that worked immediately.  Induction drugs are known for the intensity of their effects.  The contractions got much, much stronger, and it still seemed that the pain meds weren't doing anything at all.  I gave up on the pain pump clicker.

After what I guess was an hour or two, I felt the baby coming out.  With my husband holding my hands, and the nurses holding my legs, I began pushing.  Whether because of the pudendal block or her tiny size, I really only felt the final exit.  My water never broke, and she was born in the sac.

The physical pain ended immediately, but the emotional pain was immediate, and I know will continue for a very, very long time.  Any pain our baby girl felt was also over, and for that, I was grateful.

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