I've heard that a lot of women take offense to the words "miscarriage" and "stillbirth". I'm sure they'd be more upset at "spontaneous abortion" and "fetal demise". I've always been careful to use the first set of terms with those who aren't in the medical or semi-medical fields, but otherwise, I really don't have an opinion. I do feel that neither of these words fit us very well, and I feel lost in the middle. I was comforted, early on, when I picked up an article that was buried in a pile of school work that defined stillbirth as a non-living infant born at 20 weeks or more. A technicality, sure, but a being identifiable as a baby, that I could hold in my hands, did not fit into my mental definition of miscarriage. At the same time, Morgan didn't die at some point between office visits, either. She was fighting hard until the very end, and died sometime during the labor and delivery process. But, she was born, and she was still.
I guess I just feel like I've been forced to join this exclusive club, and I don't fit. I don't fit in a world of women who have happy, healthy babies. I don't fit in a world of women with no babies. And, I don't fit in a world of women with dead babies, either.